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  • View author's info Author Posted on Jun 28, 2006 at 05:49 PM

    The back story - my son is 5 months old. His father and I (both 40) lived together 3 years. When I was 1 month pregnant he moved out (we were fighting a lot). 6 months later I finally had to formally evict him because he kept coming and going as he pleased. Our son was born in January - the father was present, his name is on the birth certificate.
    The entire relationship he never held a job (musician) - I footed the bill for everything. Even through the pregnancy I bailed him out of jail, often gave money for food/gas/rent, etc. Until I went back to work I traveled often to him so he could spend time with the baby (he can't drive due to a license issue). I tried to work out a childcare schedule with him, so that he could have visitation and I could save on childcare, but in the 3+ months I've been back to work, he has kept the baby 5 times total. He's moved again, a little farther away, and is living with a new girlfriend that can drive. He finally got a job (wow!) last week, but until then had only had about 3 gigs since the baby was born.
    Here's the meat - he constantly changed the logistics of our meetings, up to and even during the visits. I finally got fed up when I was told to bring the baby to a local park, only to have the ex call screaming that his van's back seats are in my garage so how was he going to transport the baby (I didn't know they weren't in the girlfriend's vehicle). I put my foot down and decided I was no longer going to provide transportation to him or for him; I told him his girl could drive or he could take public transportation. He now claims that I am denying him visitation.
    Am I the crazy one? I am my son's sole provider - he is fed, clothed, cleaned, given medical care, has a great caretaker when I work. I take care of my home and our animals. All his dad has to do is visit him.
    Tell me, am I wrong?
    Any insight appreciated.
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  • 5Comments

  • View author's info Posted on May 22, 2008 at 08:03 PM

    Hey there firstly you are not wrong you are doing everything and more to cope with your situation. Your ex is selfish and insensitive. You sound strong enough to cope on your own Move On Ditch Him
  • View author's info Posted on Sep 28, 2006 at 07:10 PM

    girl sounds really like hes a idiot id love to have the opportunity he had i have no kids and i love them your not a man if you turn your back on them .and the courts are not to easy on guys who do that .BUT TO BE HONEST YOU SHOULD HAVE FILLED A RESTRAINING ORDER ON HIM BUT TH ATS JUST MY OP ION OK BYE JAMES

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  • View author's info Posted on Sep 27, 2006 at 05:19 PM

    I do not believe you are respsonsible for transportation unless ordered by the Court. Good Luck!
  • View author's info Posted on Sep 24, 2006 at 06:27 AM

    hey darlin, i highly doubt you are responsible for providing transport for your child to see the "so called" father. check with a lawer to see.
  • View author's info Posted on Sep 01, 2006 at 04:36 AM

    I don't feel you are wrong. my oldet child's dad walked into her life when she was 6, 3 months later walked away without any regrets. My youngests dad has called and told her quite a few times he'd come see her, found out he chose his friends and the bar instead. We are the ones who have to heal their broken little hearts. Some times not being involved with biological dad can be better for them in the future, as long as they have some kind of good male role model in their life- my oldest, now 13 agrees.
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