It wasn't until around 230am as i lay awake in bed hearing the sound of a cbr1000 reving outside my house. I jumped out of bed like a shot of a gun. I grabbed my shoes and my etnies hoodie knowing my helmet was on my gas tank. It was my friend who had just had an falling out with his girl.

I own (for now) an 06 Suzuki gsxr1000 and for awhile i hadn't been on it alot till recently. I grabbed my mp3 player and turned it on. a remix by DJ tiesto "crosses" started blaring in my ears..

Some times we as people just need to have something that lets our spirits fly. Something that allows us to be free. We always go back to the ones we love but for that moment you are alive and not thinking about whatever problems you have.

We start into the night.. side by side. No words were really said.. just a quick finger point and away we went. I felt as if our bikes and minds were connected. We rode harder then ever before. For me personally it felt great. I felt as if i was flying as i looked up at the moon.. This song blared in my ears and i had to tap the repeat button.. we rode into blackville WV..ended up in a small town called mt.morris pa.. grabbed i-79 and hit the interstate to morgantown WV.. I had the best ride of my life hands down bar none. No speed limits.. no worries and no thoughts of issues within myself.

the point is there are times that being a single parent gets hard.i know it's never easy actually.. As our kids get older we need to find something that when we do get time.. we extremely enjoy.. something that sets our souls free. It's not that we love our kids any less.. its just at times i feel we need to recharge ourselves. parents understand that yes we give up alot.. yes we don't get to go to all the parties or clubs..nor is that always the answer. well not for me anyway. But you do need to find something that you and only you enjoy doing..

I came home and wrote this.. now i know I'm going to sleep like a baby waiting for my son to arrive around 11am. i cant wait.

Jesus what a good song.. its on youtube as well..
Jose Gonzalez - Crosses (DJ Ti??sto Remix)

Song of the day = shadow on the sun -audioslave.

Sometimes we as people need to take a step back and take a peak from a 3rd point of view to make sure the things we are doing is truly what we want..

Ive been tested to that fact and i can say though my past is done and over. There has been times where i was a little suprised.. Sometimes it could be a sentence said by the unlikely you have heard before or a song.

I am grateful to be a father. I can stand strong for the ones i love and not worry about things that are trivial.. Im not perect and no where close..But im not afraid to put my heart on my sleeve and jump off that ledge to take a chance again..

I feel like the sun's warmth has skipped my soul due to overbearing weight and pressure..Like a shadow of doubt within myself that couldnt be shaken until i closed chapters in my life. I spoke to a true friend and witnessed that 1st hand. I saw the look on my friends face and noticed a look ive had before. The one of being lost and unsure. Its sad to see a good spirited person be weighed down by fear.Fear of themselves,fear to let go of their past because it's what they know regardless of if its good for them or not.

People should know that just because something fails or you lose something or someone...doesnt give you the right to sit and watch life go bye. GET UP. we all have wings and though we may be more cautious
you should take that risk and fly again.. age,situation,bad experiences, only makes you WISER for the future.. SO heres to risk.

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.

To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.

To reach for another is to risk involvement.

To expose your ideas, your dreams,
before a crowd is to risk their loss.

To love is to risk not being loved in return.

To live is to risk dying.

To believe is to risk despair.

To try is to risk failure.

But risks must be taken, because the
greatest hazard in life is to RISK NOTHING!!.
The people who risk nothing, do nothing,have nothing, are nothing.

They may avoid suffering and sorrow,
but they cannot learn, feel, change,grow, love, live.
Chained by their FEARS they are slaves;
they have forfeited their freedom.
Only a person who risks is free.

IM GOING TO ASK A QUESTION AND SEE WHAT REPLIES I GET.

WHAT'S YOU BIGGEST FEAR IN RELATIONSHIPS AS SINGLE PARENTS?

Well now, I havent been able to get much sleep as of late. Between work and my son.. I end up falling asleep around 2-330am. Well this morning @ 7ish i got woke up to my sons sholder landing in the middle of my chest as his knee went ( other places)..lol

after i healed up and i got breakfast made for us we went out and enjoyed the day for awhile. I came home and jumped online again and noticed i got added by a special somone i look forward to hearing from.

this kind of thing makes my day. Anyway.. my son has been begging for a slip and slide for our rather steep hillside..

so needless to say i got him one and we just came in from enjoying the mach2 speeds going down the slip and slide. theres supposed to be a little stopper air filled pillow at the end of the slide that ended being more of a jump into wet grass.. lol im definately going to be black and blue for awhile after sliding down 40ft and flying for an additional 10 after hitting that pillow. i thought i blew out my sholder.. lol :)

Days like today make me proud to be a parent. He had the time of his life and im glad we were able to do that. At age 5 this for him is kind of a big deal and i know he will talk about it with grandma for a long time.

thanks for reading and i wanted to say to those fellas who have kids... HAPPY FATHERS DAY